The Pet Peeves

by Gary Barton

It all starts off with the sound of the lawn
The mower that wakes you up to the dawn
You fall off your bed after your big lawn
Hoping that this day is already gone

Time is too fast and you’re moving slow
Saying your goodbyes, forgetting your hellos
The hairs on the sink, the coffee’s cold
Your shirt’s on backwards, routine getting old

The highway’s your battle with drivers all sides
They’re cutting you off and passing you by
When blinkers go left, they always turn right
Hating the fact that these drivers lack sight

Away from the road and on to your phone
To see what’s new and what’s in the zone
The 30-second ads on a clip you can’t skip
The vertical videos that make your lips rip

Static shocks and the bust on your heel
The fall that you felt, can this be real?
The arrival at work, letting out a sigh
The lashes that fall in the center of your eyes
The ignorance of people is never pleasing
The coughing, the wheezing, the choking, the sneezing
The overuse of the words “like” and “um”
The interrupting party that kills the fun

Done with the work and the time is checked
Creatively texting after auto-correct
They never return your messages or calls
So you’re on your own to have a ball

The many wonders of watching a movie
Easily ruined by the sound of babies
The bratty children, the noisy kisses
Storming out and running from barking bitches

The itch you can’t scratch, the sleep you can’t catch
The smell of your breath keeps your dull eyes hatched
But when you manage to finish and do what’s right
Maybe, just maybe, you can sleep through the night

…Until the calls wake you after midnight

These are the things that we hate the most
From the annoying to something gross
It always starts from the morning ‘til night
These pet peeves won’t give up a fight


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